I flushed all of my old blog posts. Here’s why…

The lockdown has been a time of reflection for most of us. Despite all the hurting going on right now with the corona virus pandemic, I’ve seen this period of isolation as an opportunity to better myself, to perfect my art and to truly be deliberate about the work I put out on the internet (because unlike me, the internet is immortal).

As a writer, it’s very important for me to be exact and knowledgeable to a certain degree on the subject matter I write about. In the past, I have written op-eds on this blog about the LGBTQ community, feminism, gender roles, homophobia, toxic masculinity, religion, racism, colorism, trending topics on social media and more. And while it is possible that someone can be well-informed on all of these topics, I feel that there’s still so much more I need to learn about the world and how we interact with each other in society.

I am nineteen years old. I have experienced enough to know where I stand when it comes to certain things (mostly due to the books I’ve read). I do not claim to be perfect but I’m also not ignorant to the fact that when I write on this blog, I’m talking about people’s lives. Yes, I am an LGBTQ+ ally. But as a cis-hetero woman, I will never truly understand the pain of existing in Nigeria as a member of the LGBTQ community. I can only write about what I experience, condemn what I know is wrong and make space for the voices that need to be heard. I want to be indignantly honest about what I write about. I want to experience enough to be that.

Besides this, the past few months have been so triggering for me. With cases such as that of Uwa then Farishina and then Jennifer and then Toyin, how can I possibly begin to document all of these without having to relive the trauma I have experienced at the hands of our unforgiving misogynist society? Even in the black diaspora, we have the killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, the rape in Ethiopia, the femicide in south-africa. Being able to process all of these different injustices and to document them weekly for your viewing pleasure is something I am struggling with.

This does not mean I will never write another article about what is going on in our communities. Of course I will. But for now, none of it will be documented on this blog.

If you’re still interested in reading some of my short-fiction, you can follow me on Medium or you can follow my social media.

Thank you.

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Amarachi Ike writes from Enugu, where she is currently studying Medicine at the University of Nigeria. She is an essayist, fiction writer, blogger and aspiring author.

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